Worst Four Words in the World

Alexander Graham Bell

That telephone may look somewhat primitive to you.  Just think of all the progress we've made since then! And now we've reached the point where a machine can actually say to you those four nasty words:
            
              "We appreciate your patience."

     Do I have to say anything more? You know what I mean.  I have a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach just from writing those words. As you know, they repeat every 45 seconds, which means that after 15 minutes on hold, you’ve heard them 20 times. (That’s an off-hand guess. I haven’t got the patience to check the division. My patience disappeared 14 minutes ago.) And the most annoying part of the whole thing is some computer’s bland assumption that you HAVE any patience left.
      Then when you finally hear that "this call may be recorded" you just know the next voice you hear – a real voice! – a pleasant voice! -- will tell you that you’ve reached the wrong department, but it's okay, you’re about to be forwarded. After which the line goes silent for six seconds, and then you get that hang-up buzzing.
     I’d like to finish with a snappy ending here, but –and I AM NOT KIDDING – the painful feeling in my stomach is getting worse, so I’ll have to hang up on you.
Have a nice day!