Reading those old DOS journals, I find this.
Kids, here's what life was like Before Google.
July 8, 1993
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Anna r. on TV 1990s |
Anna opens at the theatre in New Hope,Pennsylvania
tonight. Bet it's hot as hell down there. [Must have been before we air-conditioned the house.] She plays a psychologist who counsels a talking dog, so of course we want to send
flowers.
I look for the name of the theatre in the flyer she sent
us. It isn't there, but she's at the New Hope Performing Arts
Festival.
I get out the atlas. New Hope is near Philadelphia.
Buster sits on the atlas.
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Buster visiting bathtub |
I check the phone book.
There are 12 area codes for Pennsylvania.
I
remove Buster from the phone book. Philadelphia's area code is 215.
Theatres usually have the phone numbers of florists
handy, so I call Philadelphia information at 1-215-555-1212 and ask
for the phone number of the New Hope Performing Arts
Festival.It's 215-862-5880.
I call 215-862-5880.
I get a tape reminding me that the play opens tonight.
I call Information again. They can't look up a number without the name of the florist.
I explain my quest. They find the
New Hope Flower Shop, 215-862-3169.
I call 215-862-3169.
I get a crackling noise.
I think
perhaps it's because Buster walked on the phone.
I call it again. I
get a crackling noise.
I call it a third time.
I get a dial tone.
I call the operator and explain my problem. She calls the number. She gets a
busy signal and a crackling noise. She tries again, and says it's out of order.
I call Philadelphia information. They
can't read the yellow pages but they'll transfer me to the service people who can.
The service people find a number in the yellow pages for Tiffany's Florist, 215-862-1200.
I call 215-862-1200.
"The number you have called, 862-1200, has been disconnected.
Repeat: the number you
called..."
I consider Flowers by Wire. But if I can't get through, how could they? And
how would I know in time if they failed?
I call Philadelphia information and ask to be transferred to a
service person. No, not
about a faulty line. No, not about new
service. I want the people who can read the yellow pages. Reprovingly: "That is just a courtesy we provide...I'll switch
you over." I get a dial tone.
I call Philadelphia information again asking for the
yellow pages service.
"Certainly, I'll connect you."
I get a dial tone.
I call again, pleading not to be cut off. "Yes, I'll stay with you until you're transferred, but I'll put you on hold,
don't get worried."
I
get a silent line.
I get the yellow
pages people!!
I ask "Have you got time to hear my problem?" "Yes, if it's not too long." I
summarize the morning so far. I ask if
there's a newspaper in New Hope.
"I can read the yellow pages for you, but there is a service center in New Hope. Would you like that?"
That would be great, perfect.
Buster sits on the page I'm taking notes on.
I call the New Hope center at 215-862-5880. It's busy.
I put my automatic re-dialer on and it calls every 30 seconds for
ten minutes. Still busy.
I try the automatic re-dial for another ten minutes. I decide everything in New Hope has been washed out by a heat
wave.
So much time has elapsed that perhaps the box office is
open, so I call the theatre again.
A tape reminds me that the play opens
tonight.
I call Philadelphia information. I'm put right through to the yellow pages. This
time I get all the rest of the New Hope florists: the Pod Shop and Boxwood Gardens.
Boxwood Gardens sounds like a garden store, so I
call the Pod Shop at 215-862-2037.
A young woman answers immediately.
Roses are $60 a dozen.
We settle on assorted summer flowers.
I mention my morning's adventures. She laughs and says
"We're all the same florist anyhow."
Break a leg, Anna!
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Watching Cat TV with Norm
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