Monday, November 23, 2015

You Heard it Here First

Whenever I’m lying down surfing TV for movies (which I do a lot these days),and I hit a film with the words “Heart’, “Neighbor”, “Wishes” or “Surprise” in the title, it’s a pretty sure bet I’m on the Hallmark channel.  Their productions are reliably upbeat, and they are well-done.  But –
here are the titles I jotted down a couple of weeks ago, of the movies they would be showing in the following 24 hours:

A Christmas Blessing
A Plum Pudding Mystery
Santa Jr.
Angels and Ornaments
Deck the Halls
The Christmas Secret
The Christmas Shepherd
Mrs. Scrooge
Mistletoe Over Manhattan
Finding John Christmas
A Christmas Wish
The Christmas Ornament

And that was two weeks before Thanksgiving. 

Sunday, November 22, 2015

What Paper D'ya Read?

This blog was supposed to be about Getting Old, but I've discovered not all that many old people read blogs.  Most of you are way younger, and so I've been going easy -- but this new development does tickle my fancy and I have to share it with you.
Rather abruptly, I find myself depending on a Rollator, not only the little one in the house, but -- having got up the nerve -- a three-wheeled affair I can store in the car myself and trundle around in public.  I will not call them walkers, which brings to mind those aluminum thingies the old ladies danced with in The Producers.

 At any rate --
Every now and then I wonder, am I just faking?  Couldn't I just straighten up and walk?  And over the past few months, when I get the chance, I ask a Professional.  It's the answers that make me smile.  They remind me of the days when newspapers would offer widely varying  viewpoints, and it all depended on which one you read:
The podiatrist --covered by Medicare! -- says the problem is due to peripheral neuropathy (I do enjoy that term, the way the syllables roll off the tongue) -- my feet just don't feel the floor that much.

The orthopedist says it's because there's no socket left in the right hip. He points to an xray that means nothing to me and says "It's a combination of that and your back."
     At a recent meeting of the Hearing Loss Society of Rochester (why does my son think that's a funny name?) I put the question to our speaker, an eminent neurologist.  It's related to to hearing loss, he said, and tinnitus,  inner ear degeneration, the way you report hearing chimes when you turn your head. 
     Then last week I had a routine call-back with the cardiologist (things are just fine, not to worry) and he said balance problems are a side effect of those blood pressure pills.  But don't stop taking them.  It seems they've moved the goal posts once more and the bp recommendations are lower again.
So it comes back to What Paper D'Ya Read -- and whotthehell, there's a dance in the old dame yet.


Tuesday, November 17, 2015

Surprise!  Yes, all sorts of custom-tailored ads turn up when I read Facebook, most of them based on something I have searched recently -- Rollators, folding high chairs (great-granddaughter coming for Thanksgiving) etc.  But the most delightful ad showed up this morning, urging me to take a look at MY OWN EBAY OFFERING! 
Norm's dresser is empty now, and I understand Mid-Century Modern is in, so I thought I'd try it.  Lots of interest, no bids yet.  But nice to know Facebook is out there trying. 

Still thinking?
Buy it on eBay!

Thursday, November 12, 2015

Leaves of Grass

Cable this morning had the damnedest movie I’ve ever seen so of course I stayed in bed till almost noon. 
The film involved
Brown University
marijuana (no, not up there, down in Oklahoma)
Walt Whitman
ancient Greeks
the Meaning of Life
prison stabbings
and just when I figured it was a comedy, people started getting killed so quickly I had trouble following the plot.
We even had that classic Hollywood death scene – we could see the blood spreading on the guy’s chest, so what did all the other characters do? 
They laid their hands soothingly on the victim and listened to his dramatic, perfectly articulated Last Words,
no one even trying to stanch the blood.
Meanwhile Susan Sarandon and Richard Dreyfuss were pretty much hidden in what amounted to bit parts – so anyhow, did any of you ever see it?


Sunday, November 8, 2015

Bobs and Bathrobes

No more complaining about that empty mailbox.  From now till Christmas, the mailman (as it happens, mine is a man) will be burdened with catalogs.  In the assortment that came yesterday is a new one, definitely on the classy side.  That bathrobe, for instance,  goes for $158. 
     But what I wanted to share with you is the copywriter's paragraph describing the collection of reading glasses shown just above it.  Or, as the copywriter improvises -- eyebobs.

     First of all, there's that mysterious sentence -- "Convertible to prescription by a qualified optician."  That sounds reassuringly scientific, but does anyone know what it might mean?  And  next, we're lacking any indication whether $79 buys one pair or five.  Then the copyeditor waxes mildly poetic naming the frame colors, but forgets to say "specify lens strength."  Perhaps the shipment will include an assortment? -- all the way from 1.25 magnification to 3.0, so you can move along as you start to develop cataracts?
     But my main point, the reason I'm moved to mention all this to you, is that the eyebobs shown are absolutely identical to the reading glasses offered for
                                        $1 plus 8 cents tax
                                     at my local Dollar Store.  
and come to think of it, I'm not sure they charge tax on medical items.