These days the doctor spends a lot of your visit typing away, and when you check out you're presented with a stapled bunch of papers. The secretary highlights your next appointment, because who's going to read all the rest of that stuff? At least, that's the way it goes at my doctor's these days. But yesterday I figured I'd see what all the rest of the printout said.
I wish I hadn't.
Very bad news on page 4.
My vitals are listed -- blood pressure actually good for a change. Weight where I knew it was.
But height -- ay, there's the rub.
For lack of 16/100th of an inch, I'm now less than five feet tall.
Reading that is the kind of moment you don't forget.
It's now official.
Less than five feet tall.
It's amazing, what a difference losing an inch or two makes. You learn to make adaptations -- I rearranged the refrigerator shelves with the big stuff on middle shelves instead of top ones -- and then found exactly that change in a list of Aging in Place suggestions. (And by the way -- when you come right down to it, everyone on this planet, this minute, is Aging in Place. No big deal.)
But anyhow -- if you're looking for a thoughtful inexpensive gift for your Grandmother, let me recommend The Grabber. I wasn't sure how to google for illustrations. Grabber is the term we've always used in this house, but that didn't seem very technical. We can't have been the only ones to call it that, though -- Dozens of "images" came up immediately.
You don't need to wait till you're old. You don't even need to have a grandmother. Get one today and you'll thank me when the sweater falls behind the couch, or the boy throws the newspaper far into the bushes.
Assuming you still get the newspaper.