Thursday, August 25, 2016

Spamalot

     You must get these emails yourself -- pleas from your nephew who is suddenly in jail in Minnesota "please don't tell my folks, just send bail", and official congratulations  about your sweepstakes award of $4,000,000 "held here in bond until you prepay the taxes".
     Of course the column invites mail from strangers, and the address appears every week in dozens of newspapers, so I end up opening all sorts of exciting propositions.  But here's a first, which arrived a couple of days ago:Attention.  I am very sorry for you, is a pity that
this is how your life is going to end as soon as you don't comply...my duty as I am mailing you now is just to KILL you and I have...already been paid...Now do you want to LIVE OR DIE?...$8,000 is all you need to spend...

It's a long message, at least 800 words, and it ends --
 
...DO NOT THINK OF CONTACTING THE POLICE OR EVEN TELLING ANYONE...SOMEONE WHO KNOWS YOU VERY WELL WANTS YOU DEAD! I WILL EXTEND IT TO YOUR FAMILY IN CASE I NOTICE SOMETHING FUNNY...
 
On the off chance "someone who you called your friend" is reading this --
                        UP YOURS!!

3 comments:

  1. Wow. Sounds like the beginning of a movie pitch: someone makes a living by scamming people like this and then one of his victims is actually killed and the police come after him. Now he's on the run and needs to find the real villains. I think no one would make the film because the audience would be thinking "serves him right."

    Meg L

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  2. Well! this is a new one for me. I expect to see something similar turn up sometime in the next few months. Boy, these people are ever inventive, aren't they?

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